How to Tell a Partner You Tested Positive for an STD

Telling a partner is often the hardest step after a positive result. It is also one of the most useful, because many infections cause no symptoms and a partner may not know they need care.

How do I tell a partner I tested positive for an STD?

CDC’s advice is short: be honest and straightforward. Say what your result was, say that they need to see a clinician, and say that treatment is available if it is a curable infection.

A message can be as simple as: “I tested positive for [infection]. You may have it too even if you feel fine, so please get tested and treated. I’m getting treated too.” Say it in person or by phone if you can, and by text if that is easier for you.

Who do I need to tell?

Your recent partners. For chlamydia and gonorrhea, CDC says partners who had sexual contact with you in the 60 days before your symptoms started or before your diagnosis should be evaluated and treated. Even if your last contact was longer ago, your most recent partner should be evaluated and treated. For early syphilis, CDC’s window is the 90 days before the diagnosis.

If a partner’s last contact with you was within the past 72 hours, tell them to go to urgent care or an emergency room now and ask about PEP. Don’t wait for a test.

Can I tell a partner anonymously?

Yes, in a few ways.

• Through your clinic or health department. CDC says health department staff can help find sexual partners so they can be informed of their possible exposure, and that all steps can be done without revealing your identity if you choose. The CDC brochure describes Partner Services as free and confidential.
• Through the clinician who treats you. CDC says patients can authorize a medical provider or public health professional to notify their partners.
• Through an anonymous web tool. CDC says anonymous notification through the internet is considered better than no notification at all. STDCheck, for example, describes a free anonymous text and email tool on its site where you enter your partner’s phone number or email address and send. STDCheck’s page frames it for people who recently tested positive, but it doesn’t say whether a result is checked or what the recipient sees.

CDC still encourages telling partners yourself where you can, in person, by phone, or by text or email.

What about those “STD notification” text messages and pranks?

Some people receive an anonymous message telling them to get tested and aren’t sure whether to believe it. The anonymous tool described above asks only for a number or an email address. The page doesn’t describe any check that the sender has had a positive test, so a message alone can’t confirm that a partner has an infection.

If you receive one, the useful response doesn’t depend on who sent it. Think about whether you have had a possible exposure, and use our test finder or a clinician to choose a test and timing. Don’t send personal details back to an unknown sender.

What if I’m worried about how they’ll react?

Choose how you tell them based on your safety. If you don’t feel safe talking in person, use your clinic’s or health department’s Partner Services, or an anonymous tool, rather than skipping the notification. Your clinician can also notify partners for you.

What should my partner do next?

Your partner should see a clinician, get tested, and be treated if needed. CDC says partners should avoid sex until everyone has completed treatment, and that retesting about three months after treatment is advised for chlamydia and gonorrhea. For chlamydia or gonorrhea, CDC describes expedited partner therapy, which gives a partner treatment without the clinician examining them first. CDC links to a state-by-state page on its legal status, so they should ask about it.